I received the following e-mail the other day. As I was writing my response I decided to post it here also.
ORIGINAL E-MAILI will be getting married this summer and am looking for a photographer. If we are going to be having an orthodox wedding, what are the benefits of having a photographer who has experience shooting such weddings, such as you, as opposed to another wedding photographer that will take pictures of whatever you tell them to, but may not have seen a frum wedding?MY RESPONSEMazel tov on your upcoming wedding!
To answer your question, there are many benefits to having a photographer who has experience photographing an Orthodox Jewish wedding vs. A photographer who has not. I'll try to address key points that come up in chronological order on a typical wedding day shoot.
Overall, at most non-Jewish/non-Orthodox weddings, there is a sense of slight awe, with important ceremonies and the reverence of which they should be treated. If you have attended any Orthodox Jewish wedding, the sense of decorum is not as controlled (even at the most important time of an Orthodox Jewish wedding (Chuppah), it is almost assured that you will find a bunch of people talking and laughing with each other either in the back of the room, or along the sides).
During portraits, at most Orthodox Jewish weddings, there is the concept of N'giyah, which is not having members of the opposite gender touching even casually. When I am photographing a bride for example, if I see some stray hair, or the clasp for her necklace is showing, I actually have a female assistant there to help with this as it would be COMPLETELY inappropriate for me to go and touch her hair/jewelry/personal space. Most non-Jewish/non-Orthodox photographers are not aware of this, and it is a difficult concept to implement in your life if you are not already aware of it.
Also during portraits, the concept of Nidah, where a married couple may not be touching each other can come up. The photographer who knows nothing about nidah will not understand the body language clues that are given off, and then say "You two need to have your arms around each other, because you're husband and wife." This will result in either the couple feeling pushed into doing something they don't want, or them feeling awkward at having to try to explain why they are not touching.
During Tish there's a lot going on. Noise, commotion, people eating, people talking, and during all of this mayhem, at the head table are the Groom, Fathers, and Rabbi trying to go through the necessary steps of the wedding. There aren't usually anouncements saying, "The Aidim will now witness the kinyan!" Without knowing what is a key part of the wedding and what is not, a photographer will miss important shots. The Aidim for Tanaaim watch the fathers making a Kinyan, The signing of the Tanaaim by the Aidim, The mothers breaking the plate IMMEDIATELY after the Tanaaim is read, Aidim for the kesuba watching the chosson make his kinyan. If a photographer is not used to photographing this kind of "free for all" event, they will miss these shots because they will not know to expect them.
Kabbalas Panim it isn't as crazy as Tish, only because it is a general mayhem area, without key parts of the wedding being played out. This being said however, I always photograph an Orthodox Jewish wedding with a minimum of 2 photographers (my second photographer is female). So while I'm covering Tish, she is in Kabbals Panim.
During Bedekken, the Chosson enters, makes sure it's the right bride, then lowers the veil. Usually the fathers then give her a Bracha (sometimes grandfathers do as well). When they do this, they usually put their hands on her head (hopefully just barely touching, as the veil is in pretty tightly) and when they are done with the Brachas they usually give her a kiss on her head. If a photographer doesn't know that the fathers usually go for a kiss (which is a great shot!) once they get a shot of the hands on the head, they might start looking for reaction shots (mom dabbing at a tear, etc) but they would miss the kiss (and then kick themselves for not having gotten it, as would their clients).
After Bedekken, the Chosson is usually taken to a private room away from the crowd. His parents usually then give him a Bracha. Again, a photographer used to a non-Jewish/non-Orthodox wedding may not follow the groom, and might not realize what happens then, and miss these images.
Then we have Chuppah. During the main wedding ceremony for other weddings, the scene at the altar is one of perfection. Each member of the bridal party has their assigned position, and has (usually) rehearsed their role in the wedding. It doesn't quite work like that at an Orthodox Jewish wedding. For starters, there is no rehearsal. So there is some slight anxiety of the participants not knowing for sure if they are in the right positions. Walking down the aisle shots, no problems. But then after the groom walks down, the music begins and the Bride's side starts walking down. BUT THE CHOSSON IS PUTTING HIS KITTEL ON UNDER CHUPPAH! Unless your photographer knows that he will do that, they will miss the shot.
Kallah comes to Chuppah, walks around the Groom 7 times. Usually, while walking around, I have noticed that the bride will try to look at the groom as she comes around his front. The Chosson may be busy davening, or he may be waiting to catch her eye as she comes around. If a photographer doesn't know what to expect, they will miss this close-up moment and set-up only for a general walking around him shot. Then the Mesader Kiddushin takes the wine, makes brachas, then the Chosson's father gives him the cup, then the Kallah's mother gives her the cup. Not many people realize that at the end of chuppah, when they drink again, the BRIDE'S FATHER gives the cup to the Chosson, and the GROOM'S MOTHER gives the cup to the kallah. A minor detail to some, but huge to others. Then the ring. It is so imperative that a photographer NOT tell an Aid under Chuppah to stay out of his shot. At most non-Orthodox/nonJewish weddings, the photographer and/or videographer are not supposed to be anywhere near the ceremony. This means that the pictures are all photographed from a distance. At an Orthodox Jewish wedding, at the Chuppah evrybody stands closely together and they all want to see what is happening. Therefore, if the photographer is too far away, they will not be able to reposition themselves when the participants under the Chuppah move and block the shot.
My favorite part of "culture shock" to a photographer who has never attended or photographed an Orthodox Jewish wedding is right after the Chosson breaks the glass. For non-Jewish/non-Orthodox weddings, at the conclusion of the ceremony, there is a recessional. The Bride and Groom walk slowly down the aisle smiling to friends and family, followed by their attending Bridesmaids and Ushers, while the crowd applauds politely. At an Orthodox Jewish wedding, the groom steps on the glass, and chaos erupts. People start singing at the top of their lungs while they rush the Chuppah. Under the Chuppah, the Chosson & Kallah don't kiss (usually), but they hug all of their family members and friends and rabbis who are at the Chuppah.
No pomp and circumstance recessional, just a bunch of screaming, singing guys escorting Bride and Groom to Yichud.
At other weddings, when the Bride and groom enter the reception, traditionally they start with a waltz. When the Chosson and Kallah enter the reception, again, there is chaos. Arches for them to run under, Confetti may be thrown from everywhere, and then a rousing workout called first set of dancing.
There might be other moments during a wedding, but other than these, I can't really think of anything that would necessitate a photographer to be familiar with Orthodox Jewish weddings.
If you ask a Portrait Artist for a still life, or a Lawyer who specializes in Criminal Law for advice on setting up a will, one should not have the same expectaions as asking a still life artist or estate lawyer.
Mazel tov again, and please feel free to contact me with any other questions, comments, or concerns.
Sincerely,
Yudi Rine
Rine Photographics
847.687.0923
www.rinephoto.com
